Hi. I'm Steph. I'd like to think of this blog as a more cerebral spin-off of my personal blog , which chronicles the traveling circus act that is my small family. As a member of the LDS church, my liberal ideological views have often been at odds with Mormon culture. "Liberal Mormon!?", I hear you ask your computer screen with surprise and skepticism. Yes, we are a rare breed, but we do exist-unlike the Jackalope, which I was much too recently informed is, in fact, a fictional animal invented to fool children and gullible adults (me).
Firstly, I think it's imperative to make a clear delineation between LDS doctrine (AKA the doctrinal basis for our religion) and Mormon culture (AKA Jello-loving, fetchin' awesome homemakers). What is often taken as "True" and "moral" in Mormon culture is not based in gospel doctrine but is instead a set of cultural norms and traditions that have come to define our religion.
Hugh Nibley, an ardent democrat and one of the most acclaimed LDS academics, was openly critical of Mormon culture while maintaining his steadfast faith in the LDS religion.
"The worst sinners, according to Jesus, are not the harlots and publicans, but the religious leaders with their insistence on proper dress and grooming, their careful observance of all the rules, their precious concern for status symbols, their strict legality, their pious patriotism... the haircut becomes the test of virtue in a world where Satan deceives and rules by appearances." (Hugh Nibley, 1973)
So, for my "non-Mormon" readers (no, I don't think you're going to hell. Phewf, right?), let me first clarify some myths about the LDS religion.
1) I am not a polygamist. My husband and I will never acquire any Sister Wives (unless HBO offers us a lucrative deal. Sorry, bad joke.)
2) I wear special underwear. There, I said it, and it's true. Even though I'm sure you're curious, I won't be discussing them anymore in this blog. Although my choice of undergarments is unusual and therefore the brunt of many-a-media-jokes, they are in fact sacred, as is any religious token, and I revere them as such.
3) I don't hate people because they're gay. In fact, 3 of my dearest, closest friends are gay and proud. I love them, accept them and support them. End of story.
4) I'm not crafty and I'm a pretty bad homemaker. If you've ever read other Mormon mom blogs, you might ascertain that we are all super-humanely able to bake, DIY everything, keep our homes immaculately organized and pop out 4-6 kids while, like, totally looking fetching hot all day long. I, unfortunately, am not that way. I think the last craft I successfully completed was composed of construction paper, stale popcorn and Elmer's glue. So sorry, but you won't find any tasty recipes or inventive organizational tips here.
5) I'm a Mormon liberal, and it has taken some work to reconcile my religious and ideological views. I don't think of myself as loyal to any political party, although I tend to lean to the left, to the left (Beyonce, anyone?) I often encounter opposition from those few members of the LDS church who think that to be a "good" Mormon means to be conservative and republican, but over the years I have come to not only embrace my political ideology, but to become proud of it. So suck it, Glenn Beck. I'm liberal and I know it.
The purpose of this blog isn't to push my subversive liberal ideology onto my conservative LDS counterparts, nor is it meant to persuade you heathens (ha ha) to convert. I'm not going to use scriptures to back my political views, because both democrat and republican beliefs can be backed by scriptural text. I don't want this to turn into a tug-of-war. I'm not even trying to convince you to shave your head or try a mo-hawk like me (but seriously, you should at least try it. Nothing says "I'm rejecting Mormon cultural norms" quite like a woman with a mohawk) What I'd like is for this blog to serve as a platform for political discussion and, well, just a place for me to be able to write about my personal views on various issues.
So, I hope you will follow along while giving me some healthy criticism and hearty debate. If you're Mormon and conservative, don't think I dislike you. I may just disagree with you, as I will disagree with liberals and democrats on some points.
Here is my latest family photo. I just realized that the only photos I have of the three of us together are back shots. I guess we're either really proud of our bums or pretty self-conscious about our faces.
ooooh I like where this is going. Stir it up, Sis.
ReplyDeleteI served a mission at the same time as your hubby. We lived in Brazil for the last 2years and just got back to Salt Lake City to live. It was a good experience for me to live away from some of this "Mormon culture" you talk about. To be honest being back there's things I completely appreciate about it and then other things I wish members would be more open about. I think with so much going in the world today it is important to be prayerful about the way Heavenly Father would have us treat others and show our standards. I think it's great you're comfortable with who you are and what you believe. Your post was fun to read and I hope others can know more about the wonderful Gospel and feel the happiness it brings through all different types of people. And yes I'm in the category of not being the best cook or cleaner! :) are you guys currently in Hawaii? Sounds like a fun adventure!! Miche Barbosa "Sister Ferrin"
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading! We're actually in Brazil right now, and have been here for the past 2 months (Bahia). We're heading back to hawaii for a quick visit, then off to the mainland for "real life" to start.
DeleteI'll do my best at representing the church and my own political views. Thanks for the support!
This is awesome, I reconcile my liberal and mormon faith views everyday, especially in my field of therapy. So I really appreciate you writing this. I will be following.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that you'll be following. And if I remember correctly, you were the OG of mormon mohawks (at BYUH at least).
DeleteBravo. As another friend-your-husband-from-mission-daze, I think there are many people like yourself. I have never struggled with it, as I like to be on the fringe of what others consider normal, but I have seen others who seem obsessed with it and lose themselves to what they believe others want them to be. Often to dire consequences.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much! Hope you enjoy!
Deleteawesome, steph :)
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ReplyDeleteI am a Baby Boomer so out of the league with most of your friends. Shouldn't I be tainted by now being in such a minority group of LDS? Some of my dearest friends are the staunch type Republicans, but we don't discuss politics because change "ain't" gonna happen, I am pretty sure. I was listening to some political discussions on a four hour ride from Thanksgiving Point to St. George and came to a decision about whom I will not be voting, Republican or Democrat. Those who hide their assets in Swiss bank accounts or offshore bank accounts (Bahamas, anyone?) and pledge that they are patriotic Americans---how is that not being hypocritical? The gain for them is not having to pay U.S. taxes. I further doubt I will be voting for someone that has four or five houses. I WANT, I WANT, I WANT because I CAN. Can we say, "out of touch" with regular Americans? Steph, I am with you---I don't like every aspect of a liberal agenda and I make my voice heard when that happens. The scriptures I hold tight to are:
ReplyDeleteMosiah 4, 16-18, Jacob 2 and Matthew 25. (Sorry, my post wouldn't edit on my tablet).
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your supportive words, Marilyn! It's nice to know that it's not just the young counter culturalists that have this similar viewpoint!
DeleteThis pic would be much better (and more liberal) if Rivers was in the speedo
ReplyDeletei love everything about this comment.
DeleteNever in my life did i think to type the words 'mormon underwear' into google...and never did i ever imagine receiving 1.5 million hits! This post made for some great reading Steph: )
ReplyDeleteI am excited to read your blog! I like reading other people's viewpoints and I have always admired you from afar. :)
ReplyDeletegreat job ,as usual ,Steph!! I am waiting to see if there are any scathing remarks--but somehow I doubt it. Dang it girl-you are SO likeable!
ReplyDeleteSteph is a bright one! I'm just a fool who gets wordy and has lots of free time on my hands:)
ReplyDeleteBlah blah blah, it's all just supposed to be fun!
http://nativedavid.blogspot.com
Ok I feel like a bit of a creepy stalker because although I went to church with your mom and Phil while I was in college, I'm not sure we've EVER met. Anyway, great blog concept, although I just HAD to take issue with two comments of yours: one is just to point out that your list of things that make you a non-conservative mormon starts out with the fact that you are not a polygamist. I'm just hoping no one reads that and assumes that conservative mormons are polygamists!
ReplyDeleteThe second you will be very happy about. Jackalopes are totally real. I have seen them with my own eyes--seriously. At the Vancouver zoo. They actually exist. They have a different real name, but the slang nickname for them is "jackalope". They are little, like jack rabbits, but have antlers, like antelopes (the singular straight ones, not the forked ones you see in all the fake google pictures). No word of a lie. Maybe not the same creature as in myths and legends, but nonetheless...
Keep on believin'.
Hey Jaqui! Thanks so much for the input. My husband doesn't believe you on the Jackalope, but I do. As for the polygamy thing, that's a good point. My purpose was to dispel myths about Mormons in general, but I should probably make it more clear that no members of the LDS religion practice polygamy. Thanks!
DeleteVery cool Steph! I love this. Can't wait to read your stuff.
ReplyDeleteHi, Steph!
ReplyDeleteYou seem like the coolest chick, and I regret not getting to know you in Hawaii. I knew your husband because I worked in the Athletics Department, and I saw you around campus, but we just hung around different people.
I love the way you write and how expressive you are about being liberal, but still holding fast to your faith. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that!
I do want to mention that one of the top 10 coolest things I have ever done is shave my hair off and rock the buzzed look back in 2010!! I loved the stage when I got to be able to do a faux hawk too!! So so cool. I live in Utah( am looking forward to leaving, but that won't happen anytime soon) so when I was walking around with a shaved head, I got some strange looks, but it was worth it.
Anyway, I think you're daughter is simply BEAUTIFUL! Rivers and I are friends on facebook so I get to see pictures of her.
Well this just made me really miss you and it was very healing as I've been in Utah for a couple of months now, and one more month to go before off to Oregon... so thank you for saying it like it is! We can always count on you ;) Miss you guys a lot a lot.
ReplyDeleteAmen sister! Bizzaros unite!
ReplyDeleteSteph- I am one of those gosh darn conservative, organizational, typical font writing, crafty LDS Women that you have previously mentioned. In all fairness I must confess that while I do believe in marriage being between a man and women, I would never ever picket against the fairness and equality that should prevail amongst all living souls. I happen to also be Ellen Degeneres's number one fan!!! To each their own and who cares? I really appreciated that you gave a shout out to our wearing of sacred garments. I love that you have captured this audience and that you have opened up a panel for healthy discussion between mature adults about such a seemingly difficult topic. The left generally seems to assume that the right is always looking down on their liberal views, and then the right are confused by the lefts ability to be so tolerant of other existing perspectives and lifestyles. Once again, although I am a conservative, I do not see things that way. I would love for nothing more than to exist in a society that is honest, good and true. Who are able to care about their neighbor just as much as themselves, and who are not afraid to give when much has been given to them. I wish that we lived in a time when America was at her greatest because it didn't matter if the future candidate were a liberal or conservative (think circa Hugh B. Brown) because any voter could rest easy, KNOWING that their best interests as a Country, and as a people, were held in the highest regard amongst the two running mates. It seems to have turned into two swear words to say that one is liberal and one is conservative... Strange right? I guess in saying all of that I hope that you truly have found a comfort in understanding that it's okay to be liberal and a member of the LDS Church. I'm not sure if you have encountered negative people out in the World who don't know how to keep their opinions to themselves and have thusly made you feel less than because of your beliefs. I hope that most have been like myself who feels that it's okay and natural to agree to disagree, yet still respect each other. I love your humor, sincerity, your love for your family, your honesty, your fresh views on stale topics of conversation... And I genuinely look forward to agreeing to disagree with you about different topics ;). Before I sign off here, I must tell you... YOU ARE ONE GORGEOUS GAL, and if I knew that I could let my husband Ryan shave my hair into a Mohawk, and KNOW that I could look as hott as you- I totally would! Maybe once you all reach the mainland, you Tommy and Harper can come to our house for a fun BBQ and experimental Mohawk session at out home? If it ends up being an epic failure, I can just bust out the ol wig. :). It's hair, it grows back, right? Again thank you for your blog. This will be fun!
ReplyDeleteWow... NOT marriage between man and women, as in plural!!! Man and womAn! Singular. Felt the need to clarify just in case ;)
ReplyDeleteAshley, I just love everything about this comment. You are such a great person (I have to admit that I stalk you on Facebook). If I had a fraction of the faith you had, I would be a much better person. Seriously. You inspire me.
DeleteI'm also REALLY happy that you are conservative and crafty and so open minded. I think so many 'liberals' feel that conservative = close minded. This isn't true at ALL. Thanks for being so open and honest.
I really hope we can get together this summer. I'll totally give you a mohawk. You would rock it for sure.
DEAL just done be did! I am kind of geeky excited about this now... Let us know when is a good time for your family :) Talk to you soon, and please, it's an honor... Stalk away!
DeleteIt is a most beautiful family picture!
ReplyDelete